The mother I have become...

So, now that it has been over a year, i thought it might be fun to take a look back and see how i have "stuck my foot in my mouth." While i was pregnant, i read everything i could get my hands on regarding pregnancy, breast feeding, baby sleep habits...pretty much anything about babies. This was the most important job i have ever taken on, and i wanted to feel like i was doing my best to prepare myself. But i also knew that planning for childrearing was like planning for war
As Eisenhower said, "In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable." So, these are some of the things i said, or planned before "Tex" arrived...
I wanted to have her on a schedule so i would know about what to expect each day. She would sleep in her own bed at night. And go down at night around 7 or 8 so Scott & i would time to ourselves each night. She would know how to self-soothe and put herself to sleep. I was prepared to let her cry herself to sleep in order to acheive these things. I didn't want her to have sweets the first year. And tv was NOT going to be a main part of our day. We'd watch some, but not a lot. Going back to work wouldn't be a problem. I would be perfectly alright with leaving her with others (like family).
Some of you are laughing very hard right now, i know
But, once the battle begins, things don't go as planned...
She is pretty scheduled, and i do like that she is. I feel like i can plan my outings and know how much time i have before there is a melt down. Evi and i sleep in a bed together, seperate from Scott. Although, i would like to point out, that she did sleep in her own bed until i went back to work. And i USED to be able to lay her down and she would go to sleep on her own without crying. (by the way, the longest i ever let her "cry it out" was about 10 minutes - i just couldn't do it) She does go down around 8, so scott and i do have time alone each night, before i go to bed at 9 that is!! And the sweets thing, ha! We made it about 5 months and i let her have a chocolate goldfish and all was lost! Ummmm...tv, well, we watch a lot of it! pretty much all backyardigans (a super cute show - sometimes i wonder who likes it more, evi or me & scott - we know all the songs) i have it tivo'd so when i need a little time to do something i can start it and usually get a few minutes to myself. And the baby einstein videos are like a drug, it's amazing. she used to just stare at the tv. there must be some subliminal message hidden in them. And going back to work. Ask scott if that's happened a lot! i just hate leaving her. As a matter of fact, when she was first born i had a hard time letting another woman hold her. It was like an animal instinct that other women were dangerous and might try to take my baby. Hormones, that's all i have to say about that.
Oh, and pacifiers. I didn't really want to use one because i didn't want my child to be one of the kids i see on the plane who always had to have one, (sometimes multiple, and over the age of 3-by the way, i am describing my husband as a child to a T). No offense to anyone, i mean to each his own, that is just not what i wanted. But i can also say that i now understand why those parents let their children keep pacifiers - everybody has a crutch. (i think mine is backyardigans) We did use the pacifier as an infant, a lot. Then we became closet pacifier users. We only used it at night. But luckily she weaned herself at about 1 year.
So i tried to follow my plan, but as you can see, it didn't quite all work out as i had thought it should. Which is fine. It's all a learning experience, and the next one will be different as well, i know.
By the way, she's cut one of her top teeth, so we now have 3! And the baby signing is going pretty good. She does eat, more, milk, bath...the basics.

Christmas is coming!

it's begining to look a lot like christmas!! we got quite a bit of snow yesterday!! it's so pretty. but poor evi doesn't quite understand why we can't go outside. she hates layering the clothes, and couldn't pick up anything with her mittens on. so she finally took them off, and cried when she touched the snow. but still, she wants to go outside... and cry.
the 2 bottom teeth are in, and they are so cute! and she's starting to give kisses as her idea. before now i could usually bribe a kiss out of on occassion, and scott sometimes would get one on even rarer occassions. but now i get big wet sloppy mouth opened wide kisses just because she wants to. although she still isn't big on giving them out to just anybody...which is fine by me!!!

all of scott's family was here for the week of thanksgiving, and luckily, santa clause was already at the mall. so evi & grace (scott's sister's baby- from the famous bathtub butt shots) got to cry on santa's lap together. i also had another photo taken of her with santa by herself when marni, mali & i took our photos (yes, we still take pix every year with the big man). mali snuck her on to santa's lap, and when she tried to look over her shoulder at who was holding her, he would lean to the other side. so she didn't cry in this one because she didn't know what was going on. it was pretty cute.

we have been done breastfeeding for a month now. but this girl still loves her milk. there are some days i worry she's not getting enough to eat because she'll be too full from milk to eat real food. but she still has a few rolls, so i'll assume she's not starving to death. she is starting to become a little obsessed with feeding herself with silverware. and while it's really cute, it is really messy!! but i know it's all just part of the learning process.